Guides

What to ask on a tour of an assisted living community or care home

By Jordan Green, Founder

A tour is a sales visit. That's not cynical; it's just what it is. The building will be clean, the person showing you around will be kind, and the cookies will be warm. Your job is to get past the tour and see the place. Here is what I ask, and what I watch for.

Before you go

• Know her level of care. If you're not sure, read what level of care does she need and talk to her doctor first. The tour will ask.
• Know your budget, including what happens if she lives there five years. Read what it actually costs so the numbers don't surprise you.
• Decide your non-negotiables before you walk in. Private room? Near you? Someone awake overnight? Pets? Write them down; tours are persuasive.
• Check the license on the community's page in our directory: type, status, capacity. It's public record.

Staffing: the questions that matter most

1. How many caregivers are on during the day, and for how many residents? Then ask the same for overnight. Get a number, not "plenty."
2. Is the overnight caregiver awake? In a small home this is the question. "Awake overnight staff" and "someone sleeps here" are very different answers.
3. Who is the nurse, and when is she here? On site daily, on call, or visiting weekly?
4. How long have the caregivers been here? Turnover is the quiet problem in this industry. Ask the aide you pass in the hallway, not just the tour guide.
5. Who would I call at 2 a.m., and who would call me?

Money: get it in writing

1. What is the all-in monthly price for her level of care? Not the starting rate. Base rent, care level, medication management, incontinence care, anything else she'd actually need.
2. What's the one-time move-in or community fee? Is it negotiable?
3. What was last year's rate increase, and when is the next one?
4. What happens to the price if her care needs go up? Ask them to show you the next tier.
5. What's the notice period, and what happens to deposits if she leaves or passes?

Care and daily life

1. What happens when her needs grow? Can she stay? Can hospice come in? At what point would they ask her to move?
2. How are medications handled, and by whom?
3. What does a Tuesday look like? Ask to see the activity calendar, then ask how many residents actually show up.
4. Can we see a menu, and can she eat in her room if she wants?
5. How do you handle a fall? Listen for a specific answer: how they find out, who responds, when they call you.
6. Pets, visitors, overnight guests, her own furniture?

What to watch for that nobody will say out loud

• Smell. Clean is fine. Heavy air freshener is a question.
• Residents. Are people up, dressed, out of their rooms? Do staff know them by name and talk to them, not about them?
• The hallway at mealtime. Visit during lunch if you can. How long do people wait for help? What's the food actually like?
• The call light. If one is going off, count how long it takes.
• The tour guide's answer to "what would you change here?" A real answer is a good sign.
• Your gut in the first five minutes. It's usually right. Don't argue with it.

After the tour

Write down the three things you noticed before you get to the car, while they're fresh. Ask for the price in writing by email. If they pushed hard on a "move-in special that ends Friday," notice that too. Then tour the next one. When you've seen two or three, the right one is usually obvious, and if it isn't, call me and we'll talk it through.

If you'd rather not do the scheduling: tell us which ones, and we'll set up the tours, send the community what they need to know about her ahead of time, and send you this list with her specifics filled in. Free for families, and the community only pays us if she moves in (how that works, honestly).

Questions families ask

• Should I bring my mom on the first tour?

  Usually tour the first one or two yourself, then bring her to the ones that made the cut. First tours are for screening; her visit should be to places you'd be comfortable with.

• Is it rude to show up unannounced?

  Not at all. A scheduled tour shows you the community at its best. A short unannounced visit at a mealtime or a weekend afternoon shows you a normal day. Do both if you can.

• What if they won't give a price in writing?

  That's an answer too. Every place should be able to tell you the all-in monthly cost for the care level they've assessed. If they can't or won't, ask us to get it; we do this every day.

• How many places should we tour?

  Two or three that actually fit, not eight. Touring is exhausting for everyone. Our job is to make sure the two or three are the right two or three.